Starting again from 0

I feel like I should be writing something cathartic and observant in light of the upcoming dramatic change in my life, but I can't really think of anything.  I suppose I'll just do this to catalogue what's got me up at 3 in the morning.


In 6 days, 23 hours, and 12 minutes as of this writing, I will land at Glasgow International Airport, delays allowing.  As of right now, I have almost all of my possessions I have deemed not-trash in 4 bags in my room at my mom's apartment; I feel this is both lacking and extraneous, as I'm probably bringing more than I strictly need, but I'm terrified I'll forget something I really do need.  Most of it is clothing, frankly, a lot of which I may not wear frequently enough for it to really be worth schlepping across an ocean, but it makes me feel just that little bit better about my travels.  Most important things include: Beary, laptop (though I'm on that right now), chargers, passport w/visa, Cherokee flute, the otter that I hang over my bed, paper memories.

Once I get to Glasgow, Jess Lennon will pick me up at the airport and escort me back to her flat, where I will be staying for the first week.  Due to my annoyingly early arrival time, coffee will probably be consumed.

Sidetrack: People.  I've already talked to two of my classmates on Skype, Hamish and Freya.  I really like them.  I truly hope they like me, too.  Truth is I fancy the one, though I'm hesitant to say so, having never met in person.

Unnecessary ambiguity.

I'll have a very full day to spend in Glasgow on the 19th.  I have no idea what I'll be doing, but it'd better be full, or I won't be able to stay awake.  I have something like £90 with me for pocket money, with which I will desperately attempt to be frugal.  I don't have high hopes for that, with the copious temptations of deep-fried food, theatre, and alcohol for fast friend-making.

I've been living, for all intents and purposes, by myself for over a year-and-a-half now.  There's no reason for me to be this anxious, save for the inherent anxiety generally surrounding moving to a new country.  I adore change, I really do, but at this moment, with my current mix of sleepiness, restlessness, and late-night internal discord, I feel drastically underprepared for this particular change I'm facing.

Technically, my housing and tuition have yet to be payed (due to purely moronic actions on my part) but that is being rectified later today, within the next 7 hours if all goes well.  What this translates to in my head is that I could still change my mind for another 7 hours; while I don't predict too much of a struggle on that one, my tummy's churning a bit at the thought of a possible emotional meltdown leading to stupid decisions.

On more positive notes, however, I'm incredibly , irrefutably, undeniably excited.  The idea of starting with a blanker slate than I've had since birth is a weighty thing, but so far I think I'm looking forward to it.  I will have a new city to explore, new people to verb with/at/for, and unimaginable new opportunities.  But, of course, this late especially, negative tends to overshadow positive.

I've already had reports from a source or two that, from my visit back in April, a few people already question my "genuineness", which, I'm surprised to find, is an actual word.  They didn't use it, but I thought I was making it up just now.  The only solution I can think of is just to say what I actually mean.  Obviously, during my visit, I was trying too hard to impress and make a good first impression.  I think I'll have a safe space to really say what I mean, but it's a scary thought.

Hoorah for problems that have lasted through the gauntlet of high school.  At least I'm handling them better than I did last I was a freshman.

I'm probably better off leaving this here.

Silbur Gulden

PG= 100

Today we worked further on table work.  I now have a better idea of how to approach it, but I got done what I intended to get done, if not as well as I could have.  We discussed better techniques for talking with the actors.  We are now 2 and a half pages in, with at least partial completeness.

Theatre Journal:
I had choir this evening.  COncert coming up!  Must remember to plug!

Dance Journal:
We continued rehearsing the Aloof today, and Michelle worked with Elias, Kelly and me on getting some of the finer points of the choreography.  We worked a lot with achieving the proper angles with the proper intention.  I need to remember to not be afraid to lean as far as I actually want to, as that actually gets me to the desired angles.  I really do get a kick out of it.  It's a lot of fun, with a lot of tension and core work to get there.  Also quickly went over what I'll be doing for Big Spender.  Very simple, just a walk on, a snap, more walking, a money exchange and handshake, a turn, and then walking some more.  Also I have a small bit to do in All That Jazz after the first verse with whoever our Velma Kelly will be.

Gabe Journal:

He Zegeuner

PG= 100
Today was spent discussing grading for the fourth marking level.  We also started prepping for freshman showcase.  I think I would be pretty happy working with any of the freshmen; something good could come of each of them.  Finding a damn play, though...Shoot me.

Theatre Journal:
I had Philo.

 Dance Journal:
Came back for a day.  Now I disappear into oblivion for another week due to Holocaust workshops and peer matinees.  My balance is off, my turns suck, and so on.  Had some added turnout due to not using the muscles of blockage for two weeks, but also very tight and stiff.  And I've decided: I want to get down to a serviceable weight by the end of the year.  Now that I think about it, I'm not sure how realistic that is.  WIll need to ponder.

Gabe Journal:

Arable Antonym

PG= 100
Read part of CoE, then read multiple parts to help figure out John's blocking.  Created waves for filming, assumed responsibility for editing.
Found this site for tutorials in Premiere (Oh god please tell me it was Premiere)

Theatre Journal:
If it's alright with you, I'm going to take the next few days to read Comedy a few times.  That's what I've done tonight.  I've got a lot of things brewing in my head (mimicking John's movement, helping him drop his voice, grounding, memorizing).  So I think I need to spend some time on that.

 Dance Journal:
http://www.pasadena.edu/wetlands_research/images/coastal_pollution.jpg
http://www.paranormalknowledge.com/articles/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/waterpollution.jpg
http://www.supergreenme.com/data/images/27/500x333_Polluted-river-Kathmandu-Nepal-sml.JPG
http://cdn.wn.com/ph/img/aa/ee/8f2f84705db3cd76a795b3741727-grande.jpg

Gabe Journal:

Doom Doobadoom

PG= Stayed After
Theatre Journal: Stayed after

Dance Journal:
I do believe I've gotten back in to the ballet swing in a sense.  I still have a good deal of flexibility and strength to regain, but I've got some of the intention and performance back.  I only danced for one period today, but I think I used it well.  I remained engaged fairly constantly once we began, and tried to make more effective use of each combination.  I found more of the balances than usual, particularly those in coupe.  Also, it's really funny to listen to Stewart talk in circles and platitudes.

MLK Day, a good day

PG= Theatre Journal: Dance Journal: Gabe Journal:

A banana
An apple
3 eggs
Scraps of cheese, peppers, Kalamata olives
Glass of fruit and veggie juice
1/4 asparagus and mushroom frittata
Cup of green tea w/ honey
2 pieces of chocolate
Noshed on a few leaves of lettuce
One bite of apple sausage
A cup of cocoa


And schnibblets from the 4 recipes which will be my food for the week, especially some chunks of marinated mozzarella:

http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=10000001615483&cookbook_id=6001047

http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=10000000642340&cookbook_id=6001047

http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=10000001011292&cookbook_id=6001047

http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=10000001713086&cookbook_id=6001047

As an amendment to that delirious participation grade, I stayed after yesterday to rehearse for the dance show.