Starting again from 0

I feel like I should be writing something cathartic and observant in light of the upcoming dramatic change in my life, but I can't really think of anything.  I suppose I'll just do this to catalogue what's got me up at 3 in the morning.


In 6 days, 23 hours, and 12 minutes as of this writing, I will land at Glasgow International Airport, delays allowing.  As of right now, I have almost all of my possessions I have deemed not-trash in 4 bags in my room at my mom's apartment; I feel this is both lacking and extraneous, as I'm probably bringing more than I strictly need, but I'm terrified I'll forget something I really do need.  Most of it is clothing, frankly, a lot of which I may not wear frequently enough for it to really be worth schlepping across an ocean, but it makes me feel just that little bit better about my travels.  Most important things include: Beary, laptop (though I'm on that right now), chargers, passport w/visa, Cherokee flute, the otter that I hang over my bed, paper memories.

Once I get to Glasgow, Jess Lennon will pick me up at the airport and escort me back to her flat, where I will be staying for the first week.  Due to my annoyingly early arrival time, coffee will probably be consumed.

Sidetrack: People.  I've already talked to two of my classmates on Skype, Hamish and Freya.  I really like them.  I truly hope they like me, too.  Truth is I fancy the one, though I'm hesitant to say so, having never met in person.

Unnecessary ambiguity.

I'll have a very full day to spend in Glasgow on the 19th.  I have no idea what I'll be doing, but it'd better be full, or I won't be able to stay awake.  I have something like £90 with me for pocket money, with which I will desperately attempt to be frugal.  I don't have high hopes for that, with the copious temptations of deep-fried food, theatre, and alcohol for fast friend-making.

I've been living, for all intents and purposes, by myself for over a year-and-a-half now.  There's no reason for me to be this anxious, save for the inherent anxiety generally surrounding moving to a new country.  I adore change, I really do, but at this moment, with my current mix of sleepiness, restlessness, and late-night internal discord, I feel drastically underprepared for this particular change I'm facing.

Technically, my housing and tuition have yet to be payed (due to purely moronic actions on my part) but that is being rectified later today, within the next 7 hours if all goes well.  What this translates to in my head is that I could still change my mind for another 7 hours; while I don't predict too much of a struggle on that one, my tummy's churning a bit at the thought of a possible emotional meltdown leading to stupid decisions.

On more positive notes, however, I'm incredibly , irrefutably, undeniably excited.  The idea of starting with a blanker slate than I've had since birth is a weighty thing, but so far I think I'm looking forward to it.  I will have a new city to explore, new people to verb with/at/for, and unimaginable new opportunities.  But, of course, this late especially, negative tends to overshadow positive.

I've already had reports from a source or two that, from my visit back in April, a few people already question my "genuineness", which, I'm surprised to find, is an actual word.  They didn't use it, but I thought I was making it up just now.  The only solution I can think of is just to say what I actually mean.  Obviously, during my visit, I was trying too hard to impress and make a good first impression.  I think I'll have a safe space to really say what I mean, but it's a scary thought.

Hoorah for problems that have lasted through the gauntlet of high school.  At least I'm handling them better than I did last I was a freshman.

I'm probably better off leaving this here.

Silbur Gulden

PG= 100

Today we worked further on table work.  I now have a better idea of how to approach it, but I got done what I intended to get done, if not as well as I could have.  We discussed better techniques for talking with the actors.  We are now 2 and a half pages in, with at least partial completeness.

Theatre Journal:
I had choir this evening.  COncert coming up!  Must remember to plug!

Dance Journal:
We continued rehearsing the Aloof today, and Michelle worked with Elias, Kelly and me on getting some of the finer points of the choreography.  We worked a lot with achieving the proper angles with the proper intention.  I need to remember to not be afraid to lean as far as I actually want to, as that actually gets me to the desired angles.  I really do get a kick out of it.  It's a lot of fun, with a lot of tension and core work to get there.  Also quickly went over what I'll be doing for Big Spender.  Very simple, just a walk on, a snap, more walking, a money exchange and handshake, a turn, and then walking some more.  Also I have a small bit to do in All That Jazz after the first verse with whoever our Velma Kelly will be.

Gabe Journal:

He Zegeuner

PG= 100
Today was spent discussing grading for the fourth marking level.  We also started prepping for freshman showcase.  I think I would be pretty happy working with any of the freshmen; something good could come of each of them.  Finding a damn play, though...Shoot me.

Theatre Journal:
I had Philo.

 Dance Journal:
Came back for a day.  Now I disappear into oblivion for another week due to Holocaust workshops and peer matinees.  My balance is off, my turns suck, and so on.  Had some added turnout due to not using the muscles of blockage for two weeks, but also very tight and stiff.  And I've decided: I want to get down to a serviceable weight by the end of the year.  Now that I think about it, I'm not sure how realistic that is.  WIll need to ponder.

Gabe Journal:

Arable Antonym

PG= 100
Read part of CoE, then read multiple parts to help figure out John's blocking.  Created waves for filming, assumed responsibility for editing.
Found this site for tutorials in Premiere (Oh god please tell me it was Premiere)

Theatre Journal:
If it's alright with you, I'm going to take the next few days to read Comedy a few times.  That's what I've done tonight.  I've got a lot of things brewing in my head (mimicking John's movement, helping him drop his voice, grounding, memorizing).  So I think I need to spend some time on that.

 Dance Journal:
http://www.pasadena.edu/wetlands_research/images/coastal_pollution.jpg
http://www.paranormalknowledge.com/articles/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/waterpollution.jpg
http://www.supergreenme.com/data/images/27/500x333_Polluted-river-Kathmandu-Nepal-sml.JPG
http://cdn.wn.com/ph/img/aa/ee/8f2f84705db3cd76a795b3741727-grande.jpg

Gabe Journal:

Doom Doobadoom

PG= Stayed After
Theatre Journal: Stayed after

Dance Journal:
I do believe I've gotten back in to the ballet swing in a sense.  I still have a good deal of flexibility and strength to regain, but I've got some of the intention and performance back.  I only danced for one period today, but I think I used it well.  I remained engaged fairly constantly once we began, and tried to make more effective use of each combination.  I found more of the balances than usual, particularly those in coupe.  Also, it's really funny to listen to Stewart talk in circles and platitudes.

MLK Day, a good day

PG= Theatre Journal: Dance Journal: Gabe Journal:

A banana
An apple
3 eggs
Scraps of cheese, peppers, Kalamata olives
Glass of fruit and veggie juice
1/4 asparagus and mushroom frittata
Cup of green tea w/ honey
2 pieces of chocolate
Noshed on a few leaves of lettuce
One bite of apple sausage
A cup of cocoa


And schnibblets from the 4 recipes which will be my food for the week, especially some chunks of marinated mozzarella:

http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=10000001615483&cookbook_id=6001047

http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=10000000642340&cookbook_id=6001047

http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=10000001011292&cookbook_id=6001047

http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=10000001713086&cookbook_id=6001047

As an amendment to that delirious participation grade, I stayed after yesterday to rehearse for the dance show.

I haven't gone to bed yet, so it still counts as Tuesday

PG= 100
We discussed M Butterfly today, as well as Chinese culture and opera.  I always forget that it's uncommon to be as into classical music as I am.  Anyways, the beginning of Farewell My Concubine was intense.  Definitely want to watch it.

Theatre Journal: Dance Journal: Gabe Journal:

Happy New Year

PG= 100
We resumed acting during senior periods and movement with the freshmen.  Did part of the rhythm series of Augusto Boal, eventually making it all the way to doing it with our eyes open.  I led warmup.

Theatre Journal:
I will make this one up, with the others.  I'm doing college appery.

Dance Journal:
I've got my solo mapped out, and I've started phrasing the middle bits.  Also working on a group piece, though I'm not sure if I have the time to pull it together.

Gabe Journal:

PG= 100
THough crisising, made it through class today.  Made efforts not to explode during the discussion of symbolism in Angels In America.  Very much appreciated the discussion with Hope and Katelin.

Theatre Journal:
Stayed after today to rehearse with Zaynah, Kiana, and Hana.

 Dance Journal:
I can't even remember what we did today.  I know I helped with remembering the washer woman's bronle and the Z-minuet.  There was some choreography in there.  And some modern technique.  And an ab workout which I think I'm getting worse at.  I've not been eating well.  Or sleeping well.  Or basically healthing well.

Gabe Journal:
Dude, I'm not sure if I can handle having my dad around until January 8.  And my brother.  I'm going fucking nuts.  My brother talks like a robot, and my dad is just colossally boring and cerebral.  And I have no me-time.  I did not know my dad would be staying with me.  I thought he was finding places to stay.  I can't take three more weeks of this.  Something has to change.  I don't know what yet, but something.

I swear, this is for last night

PG= 100

Spent an hour and a half re-teaching the galliard.  Worked on my gimmick for She Stoops.  Got my partner switched.  Hi Casey.

Theatre Journal:
Going to make this up tomorrow.

Dance Journal:
I did a mini-warmup plus a lot of sitting around and thinking, trying to put together what goes together for the Laurie thing.  Not my favorite day ever, and it now feels like it should be Wednesday, but it had to be done.

Gabe Journal:

On December five and twenty

So far this week I have had something after school every day.  Monday, Philo rehearsal.  Tuesday, late-lasting field trip.  Wednesday, another Philo rehearsal.

PG= Theatre Journal: Dance Journal: Gabe Journal:

Yesterday

PG= 100
However boring and confusing Laurie may be, I have the combination down.  We distributed parts and moved marley.  I have Romeo, Hastings, Marlow, and Arlequino.

Theatre Journal:
Philomusica.  Therefore, extra credit.

 Dance Journal: Gabe Journal:

Playing catchup

Tuesday, October 26 PG= 100
Spent the day with Glenn memorizing COW more.  Also tried on some stuff from the costume loft.  Haley was doing a pretty good job pulling stuff.

Wednesday, October 27 PG= 100
Participated rather fully in the workshop.  Sort of went the full gamut of moods throughout.  Last 20 minutes, of course, felt awesome.


Tuesday, October 26 Theatre Journal:
Today was basically spent memorizing.  Got somewhere.  Stuff happened.  We tried on some costuming, mostly white shirts and shoes.  Black shoes, not white.

Wednesday, October 27 Journal:
Today was the last day of Sean Lewis and Elisa Matula.  While I may not have gotten very far during the workshop itself, I'm sort of listing this as another one of the tools in my tool belt for relaxing and being honest.  It is, after all, my biggest weakness.  And I'm starting to see what people mean about being a little too aware of what my body's doing at any given moment.  Bring it on!

Dance Journal:
The last few days have sort of blurred together.  I know I'm enjoying the triplet piece, and I'm happy I get to partner with Kiana, however briefly.  I enjoy partnering with as many different people as I possibly can.  It's neat to see how different people move differently, and move differently in conjunction with me.  In pieces so far this year, I have partnered with Zaynah, Kiana, and Bella, 3 very different movers.  VERY different.  In exercises, I think I've partnered with Arlee, Lianna, Kelly, Hana....I think that's it.  OH!  The test.  I think that went pretty well.  My thoughts were a little scattered, but I think I got the general idea well enough.  And the exercises today were fun as hell.  Prance, 2, 3, 4, back, 2, 3, 4, forward, 2, 3, 4, whipwhipwhipwhip, back, 2, 3, 4, se-cond-jump-ing, hop, leapturn, hop, leapturn, back, leap, hop, leap.  Und Monsters.  I was elephant legs and sounds.

Gabe Journal:

Yo me remendaba

PG= 100
 Participated in Sean workshop.  Apparently I have a very expressive back.  The voice part went particularly well.  Also, may I just say that the view from the Route 1 bridge in the early morning is fucking spectacular.  It looked this morning like a collage of modern, post-apocalyptic, and pre-historic, all in one.  The fog and the light and the bridge in the distance and the cars and trucks....Gah.

Theatre Journal:
Had choir tonight.  Bite me.  I'm about to fall over. 

Dance Journal:
I was very happy to be able to do all three periods of dance today.  I really got the full effect of the class for once.  Running rep went relatively well, especially the triplet piece.  Solo choreography also went well.  I sort of brought my part A to good closure.  I am having a bit of trouble with part B, but we've only been messing with that for a day.  We'll see what happens.

Gabe Journal:
DEATH.  I have been awake for 17.5 hours.  8 of those hours were spent engaged in vigorous physical, mental, or emotional activity, or some combo of the three.  I'm about ready to die.

Oh, it's morning, isn't it.

PG= Theatre Journal:

Dance Journal:
I am really enjoying this piece we're working on.  It's being challenging, but the rewarding kind, not the super-frustrating kind.  Part of it is that you're giving us the tools with which to work out the problems on our own, not just giving us exact answers.  The video at the beginning of class was an excellent example.  By watching those incredible dancers do a very intense sort of partnering, I now understand more what it is I need to do in order to ensure the safety of my partner and create fluid movement from point to point.

Gabe Journal:

Diddlydiddlydiddly

PG= 100
Today was largely spent on tablework, which was okay by me.  Also did a brief African theatre thing.  Read out loud from Death and the King's Horseman.

Theatre Journal:
Honestly, not much to talk about.  Reading DatKH out loud for the freshies is definitely useful for me, but I'm still processing.  Perhaps more tomorrow.  Except not, because of Cake.  Thursday.

Dance Journal:
Did I mention how much I'm liking this French triplet mabober?  Can't wait to do the next bit with the Kiana-clump, as it's being in my mind.  Kiana, Kelly, Elias, and my mind is blanking on who the fourth person is.  Lianna?  But yeah.  Back is a little strained from draggin Zaynah across the floor, and I'm feeling generally creeky tonight, but things should be a-okay.

Gabe Journal:

Bogorditsye Dyevo

PG= N/A

Theatre Journal:
Also N/A, since we didn't even have a substitute, and were thus sent to dance.  In which I participated.  Again.

Dance Journal:
WOOOOOOOOOOO.  Today was awesome.  I sorta kinda feel on top of the world.  4 hours of dance.  Morning went rather well.  I made it through the pilates warmup better than usual (read: only dropped dead 3 or 4 times, compared to my usual 8 or 9), vaguely owned the syllabic stuff, and then rep was pretty much an epic win.  I love dancing with Zaynah.  I feel bad for being on the weird/creepy side, but we dance well together.  The piece we started on today was a wonderful, gloriously slow, French waltz-ish thing.  And we start off with a straight-up vertical lift.  As opposed to a horizontal lift?  I guess that's sort of possible.  Sort of.  Not sure how we're getting to the leaning, waltzing part, but we have the steps down pretty solidly.  We did it in three tiers, essentially: First we were just figuring it out; then we figured out how to remain connected throughout; finally, we got the leaning down pat, which made it ten times easier and interesting.  At the end we were really pushing into each other, and providing bases for each other to work from.  And it's so cool to me how much overlap there is between dance and theatre, especially in the last few counts of what we did, when we faced each other, connected at the shoulders.  It was almost identical to an exercise we did two weeks ago in theatre, just moving instead of holding a balance.  Artgasm.  Pardon the term.

Gabe Journal:
I AM SO TIRED.  4 hours of dance + awesome choir rehearsal (albeit rocky start) = happy, exhausted Gabe.  We are singing in 5 different languages for this concert: English, Latin, Russian, Ukrainian, and Spanish.  I am so freakin' excited.  And so freakin' tired.   And hungry.  Damn.  My 3 hour nap meant I had no time for dinner earlier.  Fuck.  I had better do something about that.  TIme for a late-night trip to the store, due to lack of quick food here.  Audition prep on Sunday meant that I ran out of time for cooking for the week.  Merf.

It's a Deer, George.

PG= 100
Wish I could've done Meisner today, but I need to work on COW.  Started memorizing.  Just trying to start with the order of the colors in that first monologue.  First half of tablework went okay.

Theatre Journal:
I"m really happy to start acting good and proper again, but it's gonna hurt.  It feels like stretching refrigerated gum.  Except the idea is I *want* it to snap, and I'm just being too careful.  I feel like such a mess.  Here's hoping things pull together and work out.

Dance Journal:
Hoo boy today did not make me happy.  I'm terribly sorry I missed class.  I had no idea what was going on.  I thought I was going for a brief meeting with Mrs. Vaksman about math team, but it turned out today was the competition.  As a result, and due to a bit of a slow start, all I did today was a small portion of warm ups.  I've decided that I can't let this happen again.  I thought I could do my extra-curriculars, but it has become apparent that that's not an option.  Every solitary period of my day is necessary this year.  If I miss first period, I'm not warmed up, which is dangerous.  If I miss third period, I am warming up and then not doing anything.  Not looking forward to telling Vaksman, but this sort of thing won't happen again.

Gabe Journal:
Reasons Why Art is Good Number 2: It allows freer expression of self, ideas, and concepts.

Reason Number 1 Why Art is Good

It defines us.

PG= 100
Did not totally spazz out.  Did a read-through and some rudimentary table work for COW.  Coming up with a plan B just in case Glenn doesn't remain true.

Theatre Journal:
I spent tonight looking through those one-act books again, trying to come up with a plan B.  I'm really scared.  Almost petrified.  But not quite.  I didn't find anything that struck me right off the bat.  Guess what I'm doing on the bus tomorrow morning.  And in the hallway before class.  And during lunch.

Dance Journal:
Choreography was much more...not productive, per se, because I actually came up with *less* than yesterday, but it was more effective.  It's lovely to think how the two worlds to which I belong intertwine, and how when I go for the simpler and, to me, more obvious and straightforward approach, it comes out better than when I focus on what I'm trying to convey and how to "communicate" it.

Gabe Journal: