If there is no try, then stop telling me to.

Exercise:I did some situps and pushups.
Voice:I actually did not sing today. Wtf?
Reading:Desperately trying to finish memorizing for the speed-through.
Participation:100
Explanation(if above 89):Well, I contributed to the conversation, even if I only proved my faults. And that I don't do anything about them.

So I feel like there's something I'm not saying that would somehow help someone help me. It would help if I knew what that something was. I mean, I talked to my mom a lot this evening, but I don't really feel like we got anywhere. I feel retarded. In a very literal sense. I feel like there's something that's supposed to make sense. Like the idea of willpower. Or how to "just do" things. I dunno. It seems to me like a lot of people are changing for the better, and learning how to do things and get them done, and I'm behind the loop in a very big way. Something doesn't make sense, and I can''t even pinpoint exactly what. I'm growing increasingly frustrated and no one seems able to help me, and I have been trying for months, nay, years on end to figure out HOW to help myself. But nothing's clicking. What if I never figure it out?
I guess I'm sorta scared. But none of it really seems real, in a sense. Not in a literal sense, but something that seems to be terrifying everyone else is invisible and silent. Someone care to enlighten me?



Today, my name is Andrew.